Reality Strikes
Well, to follow up from my last post, i was not able provide my Wife with a 3rd round of oral sex. we have been going through a low-level crisis as of late and there are spikes to that crisis that force the LFA initiative to the background.Which brings up an interesting point that i have had bouncing around my brain for a bit. For most of the sites i have read, the LFA couple has not had to deal with a major outside issue. Most blogged LFA relationships are between couples where there seems to be a stability to life that allows both to explore their feelings about LFA. i'm not arguing and i am happy for all of you out there. perhaps you do have those challenging moments and choose not to blog about them. i don't know.
For me though, the current crisis brings about a few issues. My Wife right now is not looking to be a Authoritative person. She is looking to have certain needs met and i will do my best to meet them. But She is looking for someone else to be the "strong" one to help us get through this particular moment.
Does being the "strong" one somehow diminish my perceived submission? Or does it make me submissive by being the strong one with the shoulder to lean on that she needs right now?
posted by lansdale LFA at 12:36 PM
5 Comments:
Rest assured that all couples, FemDom or not, face a crisis here and there. It's called life. I alluded to that on our blog not so long ago, because we encountered a personal challenge in May with one of our kids that is still not totally resolved.
Speaking of kids, just their presence alone can pose a challenge to developing a FemDom lifestyle.
In my opinion, if your wife wants you to be "the strong one," this in NO WAY diminishes your submissive role. You simply need to be what she needs you to be. So don't even give that a second thought. But you do need to remember this:
There are no rules... it's whatever works for you and your wife.
I think it good to view your Wife as your Queen and you as her Knight who supports and protects her. It's an analogy that works for lots of Women who are just being exposed to LFA, be a source of strenght to her now, and i suspect she will rebound from the situation and begin to exert the type of authority you wish her to have over you.
I think it good to view your Wife as your Queen and you as her Knight who supports and protects her. It's an analogy that works for lots of Women who are just being exposed to LFA, be a source of strenght to her now, and i suspect she will rebound from the situation and begin to exert the type of authority you wish her to have over you.
Veeznight is correct, and I agree with him. Supporting your Wife does not mean that you are not submissive. It means that you are fulfilling a role that She needs you to fill, so in essence you are serving her.
As for crises, My husband and I have been going through a minor one for months... I just do not blog about it. I keep a personal hand-written journal for the other parts of My life.
It's true... D/s had no set rules. you will discover what works best for you and your Wife as you go along.
Best wishes,
Goddess Aradia
Many people who write in terms of LFA are couples that have been together for a fairly longish time.
I've read a few hundred D/s blogs. What you describe isn't that unusual.
Sometimes the submissive person has to be the strong one. This is one place where relationships get outside the cliches and stereotypes.
The dominant partner may be having health, psychological or financial problems and stresses that causes her to feel helpless or at least passive.
I remember one guy who spent almost a year as the decider, who got things done when the woman he'd been living with in a very strict D/s relationship for years was having emotional problems.
He didn't enjoy that but he did it. She recovered and their life together continues with her back in charge.
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